WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM?

What do you do if you run out of toilet paper in a public restroom?

It’s not your day. Nothing seems to go right. Your boss is on your butt about God knows what. You couldn’t get any sleep last night, because your spouse’s snoring is so bad that you’re considering committing murder, something simple not too messy. So, you decide to run to Dunkin Donuts, because coffee just makes everything better, after catching your breath you ask the nice lady for a large coffee. She looks at you, she can tell this isn’t your day.

“Sir, we are making a fresh batch as we speak. Unfortunately, two of our machines are down”.

“Oh no, how could this happen? How does Dunkin Donuts actually run out of coffee?”

As I originally said, it’s not your day. You go on to work and get nothing done because you can’t function correctly. As you’re trying to wrap up your day you run into the bathroom and do your duty. You are in such a rush that you aren’t paying attention. Disastrously, there isn’t any toilet paper. Ouch! You start to panic.

What are you supposed to do? Look around, what would Macgyver do?

1.     Neighbor- if there’s someone in the stall next to you, ask them to spare some toilet paper. If there’s anybody in the bathroom, hopefully washing their hands, asked them to grab you a roll from the other stall.

2.     Empty Bathroom- if the restroom is empty, get up, and hurry over to the next stall before someone sees you with your pants down.

3.     Phone a Friend- if you’re at a work/restaurant/bar, more than likely you’re with someone. Use your life line, they might give you crap about it, but who cares. You need that toilet paper.

4.     Call the Establishment- If you’re at work, someone must be around to help. If you’re out at a restaurant, call the host and tell them what’s going on. They will come save the day. They might even feel bad for you and offer you a beer on the house.

5.     Purse/Wallet- look inside your purse or wallet for napkins, tissues, receipts, business cards, if you’re desperate use some singles.

6.     Socks- use one sock to wipe and the other one to wrap and toss away. Don’t you dare flush it.

7.     Underwear- would you rather have underwear on or a clean bum?

8.     Scarf/Gloves/Hat- this is a hit or miss. Depending on weather, if you’re wearing any of it.

9.     Extra Shirt- depending on the season, you might have an extra shirt on. Cut your losses and use it.

10.  Toilet Paper Cardboard- this will hurt, but it seems like you have no other option. I don’t even think this will work, but you’re obviously somewhere were you’re not wearing socks, underwear, or have an extra shirt. For the first time in your life, you’re using the bathroom without your phone. You don’t have any friends and nothing is going your way.

If you’re a guest at someone’s house, please just swallow your pride and ask for toilet paper. If they don’t have any, ask for newspaper. No matter what, your day can’t get any worse.

 

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BACK TO SCHOOL BREAKFAST IDEAS

Back to School Breakfast Ideas

Mornings trying to get kids out the door are hectic enough, especially the first few weeks back to school. Breakfast shouldn’t be hard; it should be simple.

Wake up, make coffee, drink coffee, ponder life questions, get dressed, think about the kids mess in the living room, wake up the family, make breakfast, gather the children’s clothes, put all their school stuff together, yell a few times, make sure everyone is dressed, eat breakfast, ask your husband for help with the kids, drink more coffee, brush teeth, feed the puppy, and gather all belonging and out the door before 8:10 AM to make it to school at 8:30 AM.

In all that chaos you are supposed to feed your family a nutritious well balanced breakfast. I’m a huge fan of wraps, everyone enjoys them, and it’s not so messy. To make breakfast easier here are a few ideas that I have put together.

Back to School Breakfast Ideas

Scrambled Eggs, Potatoes and Cheese in a wrap

Scramble eggs and potatoes, top with cheese, put it in a wrap. No mess, and it’s a hit.

Left Over Breakfast Wrap

If you have either beef, pork, or chicken and spring veggies from last night’s dinner: cut it up, or shred it and cook it in a skillet with eggs. Put it in a wrap. BAM, delicious gourmet breakfast.

Granola, Yogurt, and Fruit

Smash a Natural Valley Crunchy Granola bar, layered with vanilla yogurt, topped with berries & strawberries.

Eggs, Avocado, Hummus Wrap

Cook eggs to your liking. Slice up a few pieces of avocado. Put eggs and avocado in wrap with a spoon of hummus, roll it up and enjoy.

Bacon, Egg’s and Cheese Wrap

Cook Bacon. Scramble eggs, top with cheese. Spread a tiny bit of mayo on your wrap, add scrambled eggs and cheese, then top it with crispy bacon. Roll it up and enjoy.

Egg Whites, Tomatoes, Basil & Goat Cheese

Scrambled egg whites. Place in wrap, top with: Fresh tomatoes, Fresh Basil and goat cheese. Roll it up and enjoy. (If you have time, roast the tomatoes before placing them in wrap. It will give the wrap and extra kick)

Peanut Butter & Jelly, Fresh Fruit Wrap

Spread your favorite type of peanut butter and jelly over a whole wheat wrap. Top with Bananas and Strawberries. Roll it up and Enjoy.

-Everything is cooked in extra virgin olive oil, no butter, no vegetable oil.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You have to make it enjoyable for you and the kids. They have to go out there and conquer the world, make it a little easier by making them a breakfast they could enjoy before school.

Plumbing Fact: Over $100,000 were spent on a study to determine whether most people put their toilet paper on the holder with the flap in front or behind.

 If you enjoyed our blog post, please visit our blog for home improvement advice and plumbing tips.

www.KevinSzaboJrPlumbing.net

Mother’s Day Gift

Mothers Day 2016What does a son get their Mother for Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is celebrated every year, the second Sunday of May. We dedicate one day out of the year to show how much we admire and respect them. We all love our Mothers. They love us when we are up, they love us when we are down. They encourage us to do good, and they tell us when we are steering away from the right path. My Mother has been there for me through everything. I always let her know how much I love her and appreciate her. I could buy her presents, send her flowers, but that wouldn’t be enough. I truly believe the best gift a son could give his Mother is to take care of all the things that need to be taken cared of in her house: Fixing, repairing, and installing the things that she has been asking you to come over and do for weeks. This Mother’s Day remember the woman who always loves you and shows you how incredible you are.

PURIFIED WATER AT YOUR CONVENIENCE

Water is the number one natural resource in the world. We use it in our daily lives. We drink it, cook with it, bathe with it, and use it in our everyday function. We can’t live without water. Americans are fortunate enough to have potable water in our homes. The water purification plants do everything possible to bring clean water to our homes. They add chlorine to try to clean it up, but as much as they try to clean it, they could only do so much. Tap water is full of chlorine, lead, bacteria, hormones, and drug-by-products.The average person shouldn’t be consuming tap water without a filter.

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American families have grown accustomed to drinking bottled water at home. It’s healthier, cleaner, taste better and not full of chemicals, which is the reason why nobody wants to drink tap water. But bottled water ends up costing a fortune and is harmful to the environment. Plastic bottles are polluting our planet. We have recycling centers all over, but unfortunately, not everyone recycles. Plastic bottles, end up every where. Most plastic bottles take 450 years to decompose. And not all plastic bottles are recyclable. Which makes you think!

Clean purified water at your convenience should be something to look into. Water purification systems will save your health, the environment, and of course money in the long run. Here at Kevin Szabo Jr Plumbing, we suggest a whole house water purification system. This way your entire house has clean, purified water. You will notice the difference right away. It’s understandable if you can’t make that purchase right now. At least invest in a under sink water filter. This way, your family has clean drinking and cooking water.

If you have any questions about water filtration systems for your home, please email or call me.

This is the Story of How I Ended Up Setting My Marshmallow Peeps On Fire

Local Orland Park Plumber Hates Marshmallow Peeps

 

MY HATE FOR MARSHMALLOW PEEPS

Once a upon a time, in a far far land called Orland Park, a local Plumber‘s son threw his Easter Marshmallow Peeps on the floor after deciding he didn’t want them anymore. The stickiness of the peeps completely aggravated him. They taste like crap, they don’t do anything, and his son doesn’t even want to play with them, “What does one do with a Peep?” asked the Plumber. After short research the Plumber realized that Peeps aren’t good for anything, he decided to get rid of them.

He first tried to throw them down the sink:

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Since the sink drain was too small, he went for something bigger, the tub. “Surely, the tub drain will work” said, the Plumber.

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The tubs drain failed the Peeps big time. The toilet always works for everything people flush down. “We get calls for kids toys all the time. Toys, keys, phones, clothing objects, chicken bones, and gold fish. Marshmallow Peeps should be a piece of cake.” said the Plumber. Without hesitating the Plumber threw the Peeps down the toilet.

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What do I have to do to get these Peeps to just disappear? “I’m guessing they are ducks or bird like things, if I set them free they will go away” thought the Plumber. Frustrated with the Peeps, the Plumber packed the Peeps bags and took them for a little stroll down to the pond.

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The Plumber threw the Peeps in the pond and wished them well. “Have a nice life” said the Plumber, as he walked away.

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The Plumber happily went back to working, he had already wasted enough time trying to get rid of the Peeps, but was glad he finally set them where they belonged. Some time later, the Plumber walked past the pond and noticed the Peeps weren’t in the water. They were perched above the pond, soaking in all the sun. He didn’t understand, “How could the Peeps emerge from the water?” asked the Plumber.

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The Plumber couldn’t take it anymore. He was angry. He didn’t want anything to do with these Peeps. The Plumber threw the Peeps in the fire pit and set it on fire.

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“Yesss” yelled the Plumber. Finally, the Peeps gave up and melted away. The Plumber should have felt defeat over his victory, but all he felt was remorse. “What did the Peeps ever do to me?” said the Plumber. “It’s not their fault they taste bad, are sticky, and plain useless”. The Plumber ran to the store to purchase a box of Marshmallow Peeps, but they were sold out. Heartbroken, the Plumber promised to never take advantage of a Peep again.

**No one was hurt during the process of this article, besides a Plumbers heart**

www.kevinszabojrplumbing.net

13 Plumbing Facts You Probably Didn’t Know

Plumbing Facts

  1. The average person spends three whole years of their life sitting on the toilet.
  2. King George II of Great Britain died falling off a toilet on the 25th of October 1760.
  3. Over $100,000 were spent on a study to determine whether most people put their paper on the holder with the flap in front or behind. Three out of four people have the flap in the front.
  4. Albert Einstein was made an honorary member of the Plumbers and Steamfitters Union after he had announcement that he would be a plumber if he had to live his life all over again.
  5. The most famous plumbers ever are Mario and Luigi.
  6. The toilet is flushed more times during the super bowl halftime than at any time during the year.
  7. The word “plumber” comes from the latin word “plumbum”, which means “lead”.
  8. Manhole covers are circular because if they’re turned sideways, they can’t fall through their own opening.
  9. Standardized plumbing can be traced back to around 3,000 BC.
  10. If you have a leaky faucet that drips twice per minute, you’ll waste over a gallon of water in a week.
  11. Have you ever heard the myth about water flowing in the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere? It’s not true. It’s possible for water to flow either direction in either Hemisphere.
  12. In 1939, Al Moen invented the single handle faucet that can control hot and cold water in just one turn.
  13. The average person visits the toilet six to eight times per day.

-Kevin Szabo Jr

Kevinszabojrplumbing@yahoo.com
(708)845-7922