What do you do if you run out of toilet paper in a public restroom?
It’s not your day. Nothing seems to go right. Your boss is on your butt about God knows what. You couldn’t get any sleep last night, because your spouse’s snoring is so bad that you’re considering committing murder, something simple not too messy. So, you decide to run to Dunkin Donuts, because coffee just makes everything better, after catching your breath you ask the nice lady for a large coffee. She looks at you, she can tell this isn’t your day.
“Sir, we are making a fresh batch as we speak. Unfortunately, two of our machines are down”.
“Oh no, how could this happen? How does Dunkin Donuts actually run out of coffee?”
As I originally said, it’s not your day. You go on to work and get nothing done because you can’t function correctly. As you’re trying to wrap up your day you run into the bathroom and do your duty. You are in such a rush that you aren’t paying attention. Disastrously, there isn’t any toilet paper. Ouch! You start to panic.
What are you supposed to do? Look around, what would Macgyver do?
1. Neighbor- if there’s someone in the stall next to you, ask them to spare some toilet paper. If there’s anybody in the bathroom, hopefully washing their hands, asked them to grab you a roll from the other stall.
2. Empty Bathroom- if the restroom is empty, get up, and hurry over to the next stall before someone sees you with your pants down.
3. Phone a Friend- if you’re at a work/restaurant/bar, more than likely you’re with someone. Use your life line, they might give you crap about it, but who cares. You need that toilet paper.
4. Call the Establishment- If you’re at work, someone must be around to help. If you’re out at a restaurant, call the host and tell them what’s going on. They will come save the day. They might even feel bad for you and offer you a beer on the house.
5. Purse/Wallet- look inside your purse or wallet for napkins, tissues, receipts, business cards, if you’re desperate use some singles.
6. Socks- use one sock to wipe and the other one to wrap and toss away. Don’t you dare flush it.
7. Underwear- would you rather have underwear on or a clean bum?
8. Scarf/Gloves/Hat- this is a hit or miss. Depending on weather, if you’re wearing any of it.
9. Extra Shirt- depending on the season, you might have an extra shirt on. Cut your losses and use it.
10. Toilet Paper Cardboard- this will hurt, but it seems like you have no other option. I don’t even think this will work, but you’re obviously somewhere were you’re not wearing socks, underwear, or have an extra shirt. For the first time in your life, you’re using the bathroom without your phone. You don’t have any friends and nothing is going your way.
If you’re a guest at someone’s house, please just swallow your pride and ask for toilet paper. If they don’t have any, ask for newspaper. No matter what, your day can’t get any worse.
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